Denver – Good afternoon, everybody! I hope you have been doing well. I think I have been watching too many survivalist programs, dude. I mean, I saw this nature-lovin’ program that talked about bears and why they attacked humans, and ‘cos I live in Colorado – where the bears roam free – I got to worrying a little bit. So I watched another nature-lovin’ program that said that bears mostly attacked humans whenever the bears were “surprised” by humans. And then the same program said people should be noticably LOUD whenever they walk through quiet, serene forests because bears are easily freaked out by LOUD noises.

I took a walk through the woods this morning, and guess what I did?

I yelled, “ROLL TIDE ROLL! HaHa. Hear that bear? ROLL TIDE .. oh .. okay. Sorry officer – I was clearing my throat. Sorry ’bout that.”

True biz!

Anyways .. without further ado, College Football Rankings: Week Six.


1. Florida (4-0) All last week and this week on ESPN, whenever someone mentioned Tim Tebow, the ESPN highlight reel went into overdrive, showing the innumerous ways that Tim Tebow was knocked the EFF out! And then last night, I was watching TUF and said, “Gee. I wonder who’s gonna get TIM TEBOWED tonight! HaHa!”  See someone get knocked the EFF out? Just say, “He got TIM TEBOWED! HaHa! Knocked the EFF out!” Okay. I suspect I may not be popular in Florida right now.

2. Texas (4-0) Texas was also idle last week and word comes from Austin that the Longhorns religiously watched ESPN all last week and this week. Like the good student-athletes that they are, the Shorthorns studiously dissected the physics of Tim Tebow being .. TIM TEBOWED! HaHa! I’m just messin with all ya’ll. Aigh’t? Anyway, Texas hosts a sinking Colorado (1-3) team that has suddenly lost its identity. Expect Texas to TIM TEBOW Colorado: Texas 39, Colorado 13.

3. Alabama (5-0) Last weekend, the Tide CRUSHED Kentucky, 38-20. I went to a downtown coffee shop recently, and when the cashier asked my name, I wrote down on a napkin (‘cos I am deaf and it was LOUD inside the coffee shop), “Rolltideroll.” She looked at me weirdly, but about five minutes later, a lovely, blonde barrister announced, “ROLLTIDEROLL! Your hot chai is ready. ROLLTIDEROLL!” HaHa! Okay. Perhaps it didn’t really happen. Perhaps. Indeed. Indeedly perhaps. Perhaps, indeedly. Okay – I think I’ll stop that. The Tide are at #19 ‘Sissippi (3-1) this weekend. Alabama 34, Mississippi 28.

4. LSU (5-0) I watched the Tigers’ win over Georgia (20-13) last weekend and thought it was a game that Georgia gave away. Still, LSU is always a potent team and can ‘splode on anyone on any given day. Except when they play #1 Florida – the Tigers host Florida this weekend. Tim Tebow is on the minds of every LSU player and coach (and the ESPN crew, too) as they await word of Tim Tebow’s status for Saturday’s game. Perhaps Al Gore will call the LSU staff this weekend and give a pep talk: “Indeed, I know how you feel: the uneasy uncertainty that, perhaps, plagues your mind whilst you wait for Florida to make an official announcement. It sucks.” Indeed! Poor Al Gore. Perhaps, indeed. Or is it indeed, perhaps? Indeedly perhaps? Okay! I give up! LSU 19, Florida 18.

5. Boise State (5-0) Last week, the Broncos beat UC Davis, 34-16. No big surprise there. I watched the game in bits and realized that the Broncos’ blue turf made watching ‘em on TV damn near impossible for people who are color-blind like me. One minute, I was watching a replay of a play: a blue-uniformed Bronco made a catch because the closed captioning said so. And then the next minute,  I’d look back up at the game playing on TV and then ask, “What the hell happened to Boise State? Like, POOF! – they are gone .. disappeared! WTF?! Oh! There they are. Geesh! Too much blue makes ‘em disappear, dude.” True biz! Boise State 44, Tulsa 28.

6. Texas Christian (4-0) Last week, TCU spanked their religious-school counterpart, Southern Methodist, 39-14. I guess God did not like Methodists last week but that ain’t neither here nor there. What you might not know is that TCU freshman, Tanner Brock, TIM TEBOWED an SMU player – without his helmet – while blocking during a punt that was returned for a touchdown. Way. To. Go. Brock. Unlike Tim Tebow, Brock just might have a potential future as a TUF finalist. TCU has one of the nation’s most powerful rushing attacks and will face off against another, powerful rushing attack at Air Force (3-2) this weekend. TCU 28, Air Force 20.

7. Cincinnati (5-0) Last weekend, the Sin-Sin Bearcats CRUSHED Miami (OH), 39-14. I confess I do not know anything about the Sin-Sin Bearcats, or even what a Bearcat is s’posed to be, but in the weird world of college mascots, it gets weirder: the Bearcats travel to south Florida to play the South Florida Bulls. Yes, you read right. Bulls. Indeed, there are no such things as bulls in south Florida – only cougars live there. And the animal kind, too. And lots of senior citizens. And alligators. And water. And hurricanes. And popular diets. And Al Gore’s chads. Expect a close game: South Florida 30, Cincinnati 29.

8. Iowa (5-0) I-owe-wha?! is still undefeated thus far into the season. College football’s version of the Pittsburgh Steelers has been on a roll lately, having CRUSHED Penn State a few weeks ago. There is a problem though: last week, Iowa escaped with a win against Arkansas State 24-21, and this weekend, they face a Michigan team that lost in overtime to Michigan State, 26-20. I-owe-wha?! seems to play poorly against no-name schools and yet, they seem to play very well against big-name schools. Not good news for the Wolverines because I-owe-wha?! is at home this weekend. Iowa 27, Michigan 24.

9. Kansas (4-0) The Bluejays were off last weekend – no big surprise there. And surprisingly, Kansas has moved up in my rankings, in large part because I figured all the undefeated teams ought to be ranked ahead of all teams with one loss. Yes, that is how college football rankings are done. Indeedy! Anyway, Kansas and its unknown quarterback hosts Iowa State (3-2) this weekend. Expect a colorful game and I guarantee this: somebody will lose. Mark my words! Kansas 30, Iowa State 20.

10. Missouri (4-0) Once again, another top ranked team was idle last weekend. Yes, there are nasty ticks that live in Missouri and that is all I have to say about that. Missouri seems to be peaking right now, so all ya’ll from Nebraska (3-1) traveling to see the game in Missouri might wanna wear tick collars, use lots of anti-tick powders and shampoos and stuffs like that. Seriously. Really. I do not jest about things like ticks. I once got a tick on my tummy after a trip to the Ozarks in Missouri, and my Daddy had to use a metal grinder to finally remove tick from my tummy. True biz! Perhaps. Missouri 33, Nebraska 24.

11. Auburn (5-0) Auburn is another undefeated team surging upwards in the rankings, and the Tigers have earned theirs, too: last week, they spanked Tennessee 26-22. This weekend, the Tigers are at Arkansas State (2-2), and since Auburn will likely CRUSH Arkansas State, expect Auburn to remain undefeated for one more week. Did you know Bo Jackson played football at Auburn? I did. And did you know that Bo Jackson once discovered a tick on his arm after a game at Missouri? Yes? No? Well .. I dunno if it happened – I asked if you knew. Indeed, perhaps it is true. Or not, perhaps. Indeed. Whatever. Auburn 55, Arkansas State 0.

12. South Florida (5-0) What did the shorter of a famous duo on the original Fantasy Island television series shout at the beginning of every episode? “Ze Bulls! Ze Bulls, Boss! Ze Bulls!” HaHa! Yes. Yes. I know that perhaps, someone will point out that dude was talkin’ about something to do with a plane. Indeed. Anyway, South Florida has played pretty good this year – including a win at Florida State – and seems poised to break out from under the shadow of Florida’s Big Three Schools (Florida, Florida State and Miami) and establish themselves as a legitimate contender for a slot in the BCS. Last weekend, Ze Bulls CRUSHED Syracuse, 34-20; this weekend, South Florida hosts #7 Cincinnati (5-0) in a showdown of undefeated teams. Expect Ze Bulls to win by one.

13. Wisconsin (5-0) Cheeseheads around Wisconsin have much reason to cheer: the Badgers are undefeated thus far into the 2009 season. Last weekend, the Badgers traveled to and edged Minnesota 31-28 in a game that gave Wisconsin a legitimate reason to be ranked. Unfortunately for the Badgers, they travel to #16 Ohio State (4-1) and this does not bode well for Wisconsin: while the Badgers have the nation’s 14th-ranked rushing attack, Ohio State has the 10th-best rushing defense in the country. Expect a low-scoring affair and say “Buh-Bye!” to Wisconsin’s ranking: OSU 7, Wisconsin 2.

14. Virginia Tech (4-1) Last weekend, the Hokies rolled past Duke, 34-26. In fact, if you double the score from last week’s game, it looks remarkably like a basketball score  (68-52) – just as I predicted. True biz!  Anyway, Virginia Tech hosts Boston College (4-1) in an ACC showdown that will, perhaps and, indeed, determine bragging rights for people who live on the east coast. Yes. Yes. I think I’ll stop now. Virginia Tech 34, Boston College 27.

15. USC (4-1) Last weekend, the Pretty Boys of college football took it to California, 30-3. Suddenly, California sucks, dude. But the Pretty Boys have been playing pretty inspired football lately, and this doesn’t bode well for Notre Dame (4-1) which hosts the Trojans this Saturday. The Irish defeated Washington, 37-30 (OT) last weekend, while the Pretty Boys lost to Washington a couple of weeks ago. If we are to predict the winner of USC vs Notre Dame, we must think about this logically: USC is fast, fast and fast. Notre Dame is .. umm .. Irish. Yah. Well, ain’t no Irish luck gonna help Notre Dame this weekend, so expect an exciting and close game – until after halftime. USC 38, Notre Dame 22.

16. Ohio State (4-1) Ohiostate Sucks U. defeated Indiana 33-14 last weekend, which was no major surprise. If anything, when a team plays like they have a chip on their shoulder like OSU has been lately, well .. it sucks to be you, Wisconsin. For real, dude. Expect OSU to take it to the Cheeseheads as the Buckeyes seek to knock off every undefeated team they face this year – that is their only real chance at postseason redemption in a bowl game against USC. OSU 35, Wisconsin 17.

17. Penn State (4-1) PapaJoe and his Nittany Lions are playing better after losing to I-owe-wha?! a couple weeks ago. Last weekend, the Nittany Lions CRUSHED Illinois, 35-17 and people in Happy Valley are that again – happy. Do you know the difference between PapaJoe and Florida State head coach Bobby Bowden, whom have been locked in a virtually even race for career head-coaching wins? One is a puppet and the other is not. I’ll let you figure that one out. PapaJoe and his squad host Eastern Illinois (4-1) this weekend: Penn State 48, E.I.U. 13.

18. Mississippi (3-1) ‘Sissippi routed Vanderbilt last weekend, 23-7. So far this year, the Rebels have routed lesser-known schools while having lost at South Carolina, 16-10 – a decent program. So, why ain’t South Carolina ranked instead of ‘Sissippi? The reason: peer pressure. Indeed. That is how college football rankings are done – to rank the New Mexico Lobos ahead of Florida would cause the state of Florida to not like me even more. So, to avoid Florida from TIM TEBOWING me, I had to comply with peer pressure to rank Florida ahead of New Mexico, even though New Mexico is my favorite team. And even if the Lobos suck, dude. Anyway, perhaps we’ll find out how good or bad ‘Sissippi really is this weekend as they host #3 Alabama. Alabama 34, Mississippi 28.

19. Miami (3-1) Last week, the Hurricanes edged a Sam Bradford-less Oklahoma team, 21-20. It was a pretty good game. I was really impressed with Oklahoma freshman quarterback, Landry Jones – he is from Artesia, New Mexico – and the way he played in replacement of Bradford. Landry Jones is from my home state – New Mexico. Who cares? Well, I do. And that’s all I have to say about that. Miami has survived a brutal schedule, having played ranked teams for four consectutive weeks. This weekend, the Hurricanes get a repreive as they host Florida A&M (3-1). Miami 35, Florida-in-The-Morning 6. (Dear Fans of the state of Florida: I jest. Seriously. Indeedly.)

20. BYU (4-1) Last Saturday, BYU beat Utah State 35-17 in a game that was played on another channel that I did watch. BYU head coach, Bronco Mendenhall – who once coached at New Mexico – will keep his troops grounded in reality and avoid the boundless temptations in Las Vega$ as his Cougars are at UNLV (2-3) this weekend. At some point in time, BYU has to turn on its rout-making machines like the thousands of snow-making machines that exist all around Utah: if the Cougars want a shot at a big-time bowl game, then they gotta start CRUSHING teams again. Perhaps this weekend, BYU will do just that. BYU 48, UNLV 22.

21. Oregon (4-1) Last week, Oregon CRUSHED Washington State, 52-6. This weekend: at UCLA (3-1). Oregon 38, UCLA 37.

22. Georgia Tech (4-1) Defeated Mississippi State last weekend, 42-31. At Florida State (2-3) this weekend. Expect Georgia Tech to add its own farewell to FSU head coach, Bobby Bowden, and his final season. The words, “Wide Right!” will once again become synonymous with FSU football. Mark my words! Georgia Tech 24, FSU 21.

23. Nebraska (3-1) Last week, pasted Louisiana-Lafayette, 55-0. Up next: at #10 Missouri.

24. Oklahoma State (3-1) Idle last week. Cowboy’s receiver, Dez White fumbled with the truth to the NCAA about his relationship with a former NFL player. Dez White no longer plays football at Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State’s season will now begin fumbling towards disaster. Up next: at #23 Texas A&M (3-1). Texas A&M 33, Oklahoma State 13.

25. Texas A&M (3-1) Last week, pounded Arkansas, 47-19. This weekend, host #24 Oklahoma State.

Paotie’s Upset Special: #1 Florida vs #4 LSU – I will pick ahead of time and predict that Tim Tebow will NOT play. Tim Tebow will not play this weekend because Tim Tebow suffered a serious brain injury the last time Tim Tebow played. If you are Florida head coach, Urban Meyer, what do you do? Save Tim Tebow and rest him this weekend to save the season?  Or more precisely, do you want Tim Tebow to take a chance at being knocked out again, thus ensuring your magical season may not end so .. well .. magically?

Great confounding conundrums! Ahh .. well, I dunno. Your guess is as good as mine: LSU 19, Florida 18.

Be good .. or be good at it.



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1. Florida (4-0) Last week, Florida quarterback, Tim Tebow, took a wicked shot to the head during the third quarter of a blowout win over Kentucky and suffered a brutal concussion – in fact, he got knocked the EFF out! So horrible was the knockout that ESPN highlighted the play 482 times in one hour. Anyway, Tim Tebow has no future in the UFC – this much we know. Fortunately for Florida, they are idle this week, so Tim Tebow can clear his cobwebs and ESPN can resume showing Tim Tebow’s concussion 482 times every hour next week. True biz!

2. Texas (4-0) Texas romped over UTEP last week, 64-7. UTEP sucks. In fact, UTEP mustered a grand total of 54 yards of total offense – an attribute of Texas’ suddenly powerful defense and a sign that UTEP might wanna start recruiting illegal immigrants to play offense. The ShortHorns of Texas are also idle this week, and expect Texas players to watch ESPN religiously all week next week. Mark my words!

3. Alabama (4-0) ROLL TIDE ROLL! The latest reincarnation of my favorite chant surfaced during confession at a Catholic church last Saturday night – I couldn’t resist yelling, “ROLL TIDE ROLL!” when I was sitting in the confessional booth. After ambushing Arkansas 35-7 last week, the Tide are at Kentucky – the same team that knocked the EFF outta Tim Tebow last weekend. Expect Alabama to knock the crap outta Kentucky this weekend, 48-2.

4. LSU (4-0) The Tigers squeaked by ‘Sissippi State last weekend, 30-26, and they were lucky to win that game. Very, very lucky. The Tigers travel to #19 Georgia this weekend and expect a nasty shoot-out in which players and fans alike will be knocked the EFF out! Mark my words! UPSET SPECIAL: Georgia 28, LSU 27.

5. Boise State (4-0) The boys from Boise State made lots of noise last weekend in trouncing Bowling Green, 49-14. The meteoric rise of the Broncos through college football rankings illustrates the fact that not all big-time schools play big-time football: small-time schools can and do wreak havoc with people’s college football rankings. This, I know. The Broncos host UC-Davis this weekend, which should be interesting since Boise State head coach, Chris Peterson, was the starting quarterback for UC-Davis when the two schools played back in 1985, a game Boise State won 13-9. Expect Boise State to romp this weekend, 130-9.

6. Cincinnati (4-0) The Sinning Cats of Cincinnati defeated Fresno State 28-20 last weekend. Typically, when people think of Cincinnati, they think a scandulous professional football player whose last name is “Ochocinco.” Yes, that is in Spanish. And also, whenever people think of Cincinnati, they think of Pete Rose and college basketball scandals. Evidently, this is a good football team, so expect them to CRUSH Miami this weekend. Miami of Ohio. What? You thought I was talkin’ about some school from Florida? Nah. Cincinnati 45, Miami (OH) 12.

7. Houston (3-0) Houston, we have a problem. HaH! I just felt like sayin’ that. Sometimes, and for no apparent reason, I like to yell, “Houston, we have a problem! ROLL TIDE ROLL!” in public bathrooms. Houston defeated Texas Tech, 29-28, last weekend. By all indications, Houston has a pretty good team this year, having beaten some good competition, such as #11 Oklahoma State a couple of weeks ago. The Cougars face a beaten-up UTEP squad that ought to hire illegal immigrants to play offense. Houston 55, UTEP 3.

8. TCU (3-0) The Horned Frogs are a Christian school. They also played stout defense in a 14-10 win at Clemson last weekend. And this weekend, God will be watching the Horned Frogs because TCU plays Southern Methodist – another religious school in Texas. Where do you think Texas came up with the slogan, “Don’t Mess Wit’ Texas?” That’s right – in Santa Fe. Unfortunately for you Methodists, SMU has no chance (or is it a prayer?) this weekend. TCU 66, SMU 6.

9. Kansas (4-0) The Jayhawks edged Southern ‘Sissippi last weekend, 35-28. The Jayhawks have a pretty good quarterback though I do not know his name. I just know that without their quarterback, they would .. suck. Well, maybe not. In any case, Kansas puts their undefeated streak on the line this weekend as they are idle. Yes, you read that correctly. Only in college football can teams move up or down during bye weeks. Expect Kansas to tumble to #20 next week.

10. Missouri (4-0) My Daddy once took me to Missouri to visit the Ozarks when I was a boy, and unfortunately for me, I discovered that ticks, indeed, do enjoy human blood. In fact, on the train ride home from Missouri, a line of would-be professional tick removers took their turns in trying to rid me of the tick: some people tried to burn the damn thing off my stomach with a cigar, a cigarette and a rolled joint. Somebody spit some tobacco juice on my tummy and stained my clothes. A woman suggested “pliers” and “pulling with all that God gave us strength to do.” Somebody prayed. I cried. I still have the scar, though, which looks pretty good. Missouri is idle this week (see a continuing trend?). I’ll never go back to Missouri, again.

11. Oklahoma (2-1) Since losing to #19 BYU in the season opener, the Sooners have been playing inspired football. Quarterback Sam Bradford, who was injured in that loss, may return this weekend, which doesn’t bode well for Miami. Of Florida, of course. The Sooners travel to #24 Miami this weekend in an all-world shootout that should feature lots of fireworks and trash talkin’. If Bradford returns, expect the Hurricane defense to imitate BYU’s strategic plan: knock the quarterback the EFF out! Oh, wait – that was Kentucky. Nevermind. Oklahoma 33, Miami (Fla.) 21.

12. USC (3-1) Already, this has been a difficult year for the Pretty Boys of college football. First, they lost their starting quarterback, then they lost to PAC-10 rival, Washington, the following week. Then earlier this week, tailback Staphon Johnson suffered a throat injury during a weight-lifting workout and underwent emergency surgery. He is fine. He twittered that he was fine. Thank the Lawd for twitter. Thank the Lawd for Texas Tech head coach, Mike Leach. More on that later. This weekend, USC is at #24 California, which was CRUSHED by Oregon, 42-3, last weekend. USC 18, California 15.

13. OSU (3-1) Ohiostate Sucks U. has played terrific defense since losing to #12 USC a few weeks ago, shutting out the last two opponents who dared to score against the Buckeyes’.  Did you know that a buckeye is either an eyeball of a deer or a tree or bush? No, I did not know that, neither. Weird. College football has some weird mascots, dude. In any case, the Buckeyes travel to Indiana this weekend in a showdown of .. weirdly named teams. Ohiostate Sucks U. 32, Indiana Hoosiers 19.

14. Virginia Tech (3-1) Last weekend, the Hokies (another weirdly named team) pounded #24 Miami (Fla), 31-7. That was a terrific game. I did not even watch it – and I didn’t have to, neither. A “Hokie” is a cartoonish bird, I am told, but you do not have to take Levar Burton’s word for it. The Hokies’ travel to Duke this weekend and expect a basketball-like score: Virginia Tech 88, Duke 66.

15. Iowa (4-0) Earlier this week, I receive an email from a long-time reader of the Green Couch and the email agreed with me that Iowa, indeed, looks like the Pittsburgh Steelers. True biz! Iowa has been playing pretty well, having spanked #16 Penn State last weekend, 21-10. Will Iowa win the Super Bowl of college football? Probably not. Iowa hosts Arkansas State this weekend. Iowa 39, Arkansas State 14.

16. Penn State (3-1) Head coach, PapaJoe, and his  Nittany Lions were trounced at home last weekend by the Pittsburgh Steelers of college football – #15 Iowa. In fact, the game went so badly for PapaJoe that his team folded in the 4th quarter, much to the delight of NFL fans everywhere. Too bad that can’t happen more often to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Anyway, the Nittany Lions face Illinois this weekend. PSU 24, Illinois 12.

17. Oklahoma State (2-1) Amid all the pre-season hype, the Creamsicle Cowboys were expected to compete for the national championship until they lost at home to #7 Houston a few weeks ago. Since then, the Cowboys have been playing up to their potential, spanking the helloutta teams nobody knows about. Does this prove the Cowboys are national championship contenders? Well, if an 88-year-old woman could be a running back for Oklahoma State, then the Cowboys just might have a chance. Cowboys are idle this weekend.

18. Oregon (3-1) The Ducks CRUSHED #23 California, 42-3, last weekend. Oregon seems poised for a run at their regular season schedule and might finish the year with one loss. Whether that translates into a BCS national title game remains to be seen, but the last time the Ducks were this highly ranked, they had a quarterback named Joey Harrington, and look what happened to him when he went to the NFL: he sucked. But this ain’t neither here nor there, and this is a new year, so expect Oregon to climb the rankings as the season winds down. Oregon is at Washington State this weekend. Oregon 44, WSU 0.

19. Georgia (3-1) After edging Arizona State 20-17 last weekend, the Bulldawgs could be accused of having looked ahead to this weekend’s game against #4 LSU. Maybe they did. Maybe not. In any case, this weekend is the weekend Bulldawg fans everywhere have had circled on their calendars.  Too bad I ain’t down in Georgia ‘cos Georgia has been on my mind since the college football schedule came out. Georgia is a hot, blonde chick from the South that I used to date when I was in college. Whatever happened to her? I dunno – she probably married a hot, blonde lesbian. Georgia 18, LSU 17.

20. BYU (3-1) The Mormons of Utah spanked Colorado State 42-23 last weekend, much to my delight. I always like when the Mormons win big games because I always wanna see if they break out the tequila and get piss-drunk. I know for a fact from experience that a hot, blonde lesbian named Georgia – who was also a Mormon – liked to drink tequila until she vomited. It was pretty funny, too. Ahh .. them old college days. BYU hosts in-state rival, Utah State this weekend. BYU 44, Utah State 9.

21. Texas A&M (3-0) Last week: defeated University of Alabama-Birmingham, 56-19. Up next: vs. Arkansas.

22. Texas Tech (2-2) Earlier this week, Red Raiders’ head coach, Mike Leach, denounced twitter as a viable medium for his players to use. I agree. I think he said it best, “If they want to be narcissistics, then we’ll install mirrors in the locker room. But they don’t need twitter.” Yes, indeed. Leach summarizes much of the Interent: narcissistically-driven. (Of course, I am not narcissistic at all! I am .. merely your humble servant.) (True biz!) Red Raiders host an imploding and winless University of New Mexico team this weekend.

23. California (3-1) Losers at #18 Oregon last week, 42-3. Up next: vs #12 USC.

24. Miami (Fla.) (2-1) Lost to # 14 Virginia Tech, 31-7 last week. Up next: vs #10 Oklahoma.

25. Mississippi (2-1) Lost at South Carolina, 16-10 last week. Up next: at Vanderbilt.

Paotie’s PostScript: Normally, I reserve this space to give you the week’s Upset Special, but since so many top-ranked teams are idle this weekend, and because of the fact that my beloved University of New Mexico Lobos are winless and embroiled in a nasty scandal, I thought to discuss something: the Lobos suck, dude. Somebody ought to fire the coach, especially if he punched one of his assistants. That ain’t cool ‘cos all the bad press is just giving New Mexico a black eye. And pleeeeeease, somebody bring back former head coach, Rocky Long.


Be good .. or be good at it.



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Denver – Good morning, everybody! I hope you have been doing well. I was unable to blog for the past two weeks because I suffered a biceps injury after a fight recently. I was walking to the post office one afternoon when an angry, long-limbed tree bumped my chest and said, “What up, homie?” And then I replied, “Ehh?” And then the tree was like .. all up in my business, yo! And then the tree flashed me some gangsta signs and then I replied, “Dude, I am deaf, you just called yo’Mamma a ‘ho!”

True biz!


Anyway .. I was gonna blog last week but there were problems with my blog’s server so I decided to just browse around online – I was a spectator in a spectator’s sport. It was kinda fun, ya’know? Sometimes, I enjoy reading various blogs and their comment sections ‘cos it is different than being a blogger, if ya’know what I’m saying.

The biceps are better though the bruise is still there – at least I can extend my arm without much discomfort compared to two weeks ago (I sprained my biceps during a grappling exercise to escape armbars). For a while though, I had to walk around with my hands permanently stuck into my pants’ pockets because to bend my arms meant to suffer waves of endless spasms – not cool.

Sheeeeeet happens, ya’know?

So .. did all ya’ll see last night’s episode of Californication on Showtime? If you did not, then I suggest you catch upcoming episodes (click here for the programming schedule) and soon. If you did see last night’s episode, “Wish You Were Here,” then you were in for a treat.

Hank Moody RULES!

Yes, I confess to living vicariously through Moody’s travels, what with his neverending sexual escapades and conquests, but what I like most about Moody is the fact he does not bite his tongue. I mean, he is the cunning linguist that millions of men across America have always fantasized about at one time or another in their lives. And when I say that, I mean it: the capacious wordplay that defines Moody week-in and week-out is legendary. In fact, I wish the world was a bit more like Moody’s, in which verbal comebacks were laden with heavy doses of humor, often sordidly and cynical, and he provides unapologetic comic relief in the most bizarre and depressing situations.

So .. I don’t wanna spoil last night’s espisodes for those of you who have not watched it yet, so I shall say no’mo. The third season of Californication promises to be exciting with the addition of some major Hollywood stars, such as Kathleen Turner and rock and roller Rick Springfield, among others. Also this season features a gay man who has a crush on Moody, which adds to Moody’s sex-always-on-the-mind tribulations.

Paotie’s PostScript: Unfortunately, I updated the title fonts this morning, and discovered that the update screwed up the title font. Every time I upgrade/update my blog a new, damn problem crops up!

WORDPRESS DEVELOPERS HEED MY WORDS: Please .. please try to make your upgrades more user-friendly ‘cos some of us don’t wanna waste an inordinate amount of time tinkering with codes, man.


Be good .. or be good at it.



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