Denver – Good morning, everybody! I hope you have been doing well. Tired of hearing about the Great Recession of the United States? Fear not! Tired of reading about financial woes afflicting nearly every industry around the world? Worry not! There is now a cure: unemployed people can become extortion-driven professional victims!

I am not kidding you!

Wha’Sup?!

Anyway .. I got my haircut yesterday and it went really well. The woman who cut my hair snipped a little bit here and snipped a little bit there and then snipped a little bit everywhere’s there.

And on that farm, she had a pair, E I E I O!

Really!

In fact, she always looks like a born dominatrix: she wears black clothes with black-rimmed glasses that sit on a milky-white face partially covered by long, black hair. Put some black leather on the woman and she could easily be mistaken for a professional ass-slapper.

E I E I O!

She’s also the type of attractive professional who likes to be in charge – every so often, she’d force me to move my head into a specific position. And! Plus! She liked to talk while her hands performed tricky maneuvers meant to please my heart.

“How’s this?” she’d ask.

“I love how you squish ‘em together!” I’d reply.

And then we’d laugh together.

And then she’d say, “You and your mohawk, funny guy.”

E I E I O!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie