Denver – Good morning, everybody! I hope you have been doing well. One day last week, I was outside, skateboarding to my heart’s delight. Then the next day, I was ice-skating down the street. And then the day after that, I was water-skiing down the street!

And! Plus! Tomorrow, I intend to climb to the summit of Mt. Everest – on a giraffe!

GOOD TIMES! GREAT VIBRATIONS!

HaHa!

Anyway .. the girls and I went to dinner last night – at Costco – and I got to thinking about how people can save money during these financially difficult times. I mean, in between bites of a jam-covered cracker served by somebody’s Granny wearing a sketchy hairnet on aisle 32, I thought the issue of frugality would be good to blog about.

Being frugal means to be smart about your money. Being cheap, on the other hand, means to eat at Taco Bell – I do not advocate that at all! Being frugal means to eat samples of food at Costco several times a day.

Aigh’t?

So, without further ado, I present you Paotie’s Top Nine Ways to be Frugal:

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9. Carpool – Carpooling is a tradition first began by the Flintstones and continues to serve modern times quite well. Rather than drive to work commando-style, invite your friends, family and/or neighbors to carpool: besides saving the environment and money, you can actually avoid Taco Bell on the way to work.

• Bargainist.com.

8. Trim/Shave/Wax Your Way to Frugality – The girls and I compromised on the types of razor blades we used (I used manly men’s razors; the girls used pink stuff, man), and now we buy far less expensive razors, creams and so on. Or, you could go one-step further and become a hairy hippie until the spring – and save money!

7. Downgrade/Eliminate Unnecessary Expenses – This is a painful method of reducing your expenses. For example, I have been severely depressed for the last two weeks because we no longer have 500 satellite channels – we now have 37. By reducing your satellite (or other entertainment) packages, you can save money on batteries: the girls have been fantabulously happy about the end of my non-stop channel changing sessions.

• About.com article on seven ways to be frugal.

6. Reuse, Recycle, Reissue – I have been using the same razor blade to shave my face for the last month and a half, and while I look like an unshaven, stoned Chinaman, the razor burn became surprisingly easy to get used to. At first, people were like, “Is that a rash on your face?” and then later, questions began to include things like, “Dude?! Did you wreck your scooter and fall on your face?!”

• Recycle Christmas cards

5. Do not shop or buy online – There is one major exception to this but before I get to that: buying stuff online is addictively easy to do – by forcing yourself to NOT BUY STUFF ONLINE, you save money. Really! The exception? Paotie’s Store. BUY! BUY! BUY! HaHa! (I’m kinda kidding, ‘kay?)

4. Reduce Household Expenses – Reducing your heating costs is one way to increase your savings: in our house, I turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees – 24 hours a day – and we saved money. For about a week, I mean, and then the girls complained and complained that the house was “too cold” and that it “takes too long to get warm!” GEESH! Also, make sure your ceiling fans are working in the right direction; turn off unneeded lights at night;  take super-fast showers; and open curtains during the day to let the sun warm your house – by doing these things, you will save money.

• 50 Tips on Being Frugal

3. ‘Scuse Me .. Do You Have Any Grey Coupons? Using coupons is a great way to save money: look for them in newspapers, junk mail and even online. Many places, including restaurants, tire retailers and even drug dealers, are now issuing coupons online – you can print and take ‘em with you. Click on this link to learn more about rebates and how to use them. Click the following for more information:

• Coupon.com – Coupons for everything
• Shortcuts.com – AOL-supported feature
• Valpak.com – More coupons

2. Pay With Cash – I’ve long had a philosophy of “If I do not have the money, I do not buy it” that has served me pretty well. I paid off my credit card in August and no longer use credit cards for the smallest of purchases. We’ve even gone so far as to only use money orders when paying large bills, mostly because I do not like seeing those thin envelopes from the banks in my mailbox that yell, “OVERDRAWN! YOU ARE OVERDRAWN! BAD PERSON ALERT!”

1. Prioritize – Deciding what you really need and want can be difficult to do, but it has to be done. We reduced our satellite programming, renewed our library subscriptions and have adjusted (somewhat) to life without 500 channels to watch on HDTV. We have also scrapped the checkbook in favor of money orders because I hate receiving mail from the bank. We are moving into a smaller home in part because we wanted to save more money rather than staying at our current house, which is too big and is too expensive to heat in the Colorado winters. And while the girls have been taking the buses to school, I have continued to ride my scooter – because I am a hard-core biker!

“Mmm .. ‘kay.” you say?

I know!

I feel the same way!

Well, if you know of a great and safe way to save money, please let me know and maybe I’ll update the article to include a few more pointers – if I get enough of ‘em. We can all save a little money, gain new friends, and make the world a little better – by eating dinner at the food sampling stations at Costco.

GOOD TIMES! GREAT VIBRATIONS!

UPDATE: Green Couch readers left additional comments last night – check ‘em out below:

• One reader suggested switching to more efficient light bulbs in your home
• Another reader suggested to shop at thrift stores
• Candy suggested DTV coupons, which is a great idea for those of you still with analog televisions at home
• Colorado Springs’ Gazette article on saving money by freezing meals and food

See you later, gators ..

Paotie