I am a hard-core biker!
Denver – Good morning, anybody! I hope your fall days have been going well. I have a public announcement regarding the governmental bailout of Wall Street: if you are broke, you are screwed. If you are really, really broke and owe a lotta money – you are really, really screwed. Behind on mortage payments for more than one house? Yup – you’re absolutely right! You are screwed!
Fear not: Congress will find another way to bail out millions of Americans and make you – unbalanced Americans – get royally screwed in the process. Again!
HaHa!
I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it? Ya’know what I’m sayin’?
Anyway .. today, I want to talk about the fact that I am a hard-core biker.
Really! Seriously!
I am a hard-core biker!
As a hard-core biker, I wear green leather chaps whenever I go riding. In case you did not know what leather chaps are, they are the leather chaps that manly motorcycle men wear – even without pants sometimes – when they are riding horses, motorcycles or mechanical bulls through wide-open spaces!
I also have a green leather vest with the name of a hard-core biker gang name stitched in the back: just like a real hard-core biker, I belong to a gang of other hard-core bikers – Paotie’s Gang of Uno. And! Plus! For protection, I wear a green, Trojan-styled helmet that strikes fear into the hearts of naughty and nice Christians!
I digress!
So .. I first became a hard-core biker after stopping by a tattoo parlor, which is where most of the hard-core bikers I met were also hanging out, and began the process of becoming a hard-core biker. I was later beaten into a bloody pulp, bought my blue two-wheeler, and went hard-core!
Everywhere I go now, I am a hard-core biker. Chicks honk their horns at me – and I am deaf! Old men give me the old-tip-of-the-hat-nod-and-wave whenever I pass by. Po-lice officers burn holes through my soul as I happily ride past speed traps.
I am a lone wolf in a crowded world! I am a hard-core biker!
In fact, I recently went to a hard-core bar and was minding my own hard-core business by quaffing several hard-core cups of hard-core iced chais when a heavily tattooed-and-pot-bellied hard-core biker with a motorcycle parked out front approached me – hard-cored! “Dude, is that yo’ bike outside? That blue thing?”
“Hard-core!”
“Heh. Heh. That .. thing is small.”
“Yup!”
“Heh. Heh. That thing looks like a damn joke.”
“VROOM! VROOM!”
“HAWHAW! HAWHAW! Silly motherfucker!”
Anyway, I have to go now – the girls and I are going to the movies – but the point of today’s article is not that I recently got a scooter, which is really a motorized bicycle. The point here is that dudes with big motorcycles have size issues whenever they laugh at me as I zip around town.
GOOD TIMES! GREAT VIBRATIONS!
I am a hard-core biker.
I swear!
Be good .. or be good at it.
Paotie
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Vespas are wicked cool….a buddy and a co-worker of mine had Vespas…
What mileage do those Vespas make? With the price of gas, that’s not a bad option for getting around town. Where I live, I wouldn’t want to use a Vespa for commuter purposes to drive to a job though, I’d be a freeway rug before I hit the entry ramp.
Ann ..
Actually, I do not have a Vespa – I just liked the link/picture. My scooter is a RoughHouse 50 – a veritable little buzzer!
The hills of Colorado can be a little .. steep for the RoughHouse, but like a good investment, it just keeps on going and going. Slowly.
Coming down hills, though, it’s like riding on greased lightning! I LOVE IT!
I’ve gotten about 100 miles on a gallon so far. Spent $6.39 on gas in the last month (more than 200 miles driven).
Paotie
Make sure you obey Po-lice’ officers’ rules and your helmet. Say hello and thanks to the gang of the head lices in the helmet from the po-lice officers.
I’m impressed that you save your economy by riding the hard-core bike, not the $700B.
Be good or be good at it.
LOL WG, Po-LICE have Lice? lol That was a good one.
Paotie, I live in a college town and there’s lots of scooters (like yours) here. The other day a long haired blonde lad with his hair covering his eyes jumped a curb and flew right pass in front of my vehicle! He was riding this unmotorized scooter (skateboard with handles), and I was like ????? I could have hit ya! He was dressed all in GREEN, too! For a moment I thought it was you!
Hey, your scooter is economically sound! With the economy the way it is and the amount of money I’m spending gassing up my vehicle, Geesh! Wish I could afford a scooter…but, I have to drive on a freeway to work so…..It’s not gonna work.
Candy ..
RIght. Well, ridin’ on highways on a little-bitty scooter is not highly advisable. The engine is only 50 CC’s and prompts ridiculous amounts of laughter whenever I pass by this biker bar near my house.
GEESH!
VROOM! VROOM!
Paotie
I believe you. LOL These bikers think with their mojo’s.
Hey, Cubs is playing game 1 of the Playoffs NOW!
You watching? :p
That scooter looks like a mini-dragon with mirrors for ears, something a ninja might drive for a getaway vehicle…*snort* (guffaw)
Me, I like the Vespa actually, it’s so…Italian, what else would Jodi of Tuscany call it?
[...] Let’s see .. I dunno. Oh! My scooter! [...]
[...] 1. Prioritize – Deciding what you really need and want can be difficult to do, but it has to be done. We reduced our satellite programming, renewed our library subscriptions and have adjusted (somewhat) to life without 500 channels to watch on HDTV. We have also scrapped the checkbook in favor of money orders because I hate receiving mail from the bank. We are moving into a smaller home in part because we wanted to save more money rather than staying at our current house, which is too big and is too expensive to heat in the Colorado winters. And while the girls have been taking the buses to school, I have continued to ride my scooter – because I am a hard-core biker! [...]