Denver -  Good afternoon, everybody! I hope your summer has been going well. Hurricane Ike has left Texas a mess! People are stupidly stranded! Trailer parks have been demolished! Legislators in Texas are now considering changing the state’s motto from “Don’t Mess with Texas” to “Don’t Mess Wit Texas – We’re S’ubbornly S’upid!’

Kinda like Deaf Experts.

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it; ya’know what I’m sayin’?

Anyway .. my long hiatus from blogging is officially over. I spent lots of time traveling around Colorado meeting people, hiking mountains and caves, and watching the 2008 Soap Operatic Election with eager earnestness.

I also want to briefly mention the fact that I live in Denver Broncos’ Country. Everywhere I go, I see Denver Broncos jerseys, hats, shirts and bumper stickers. Quarterback Jay Cutler is a cult hero ‘round these parts.

Especially after yesterday! GEESH!

Normally, I do not follow the NFL or even the Broncos (I used to be a hard-core Dallas Cowboy fan but since the game is no longer about the game and all about the money, I could care less – except when the Cowboys play the hated Redskins) but I had the privilege to attend an exhibition game between the Broncos and Cowboys earlier this summer.

My friends and I were given front-row seats behind the Broncos’ sidelines, or actually, we were given seats directly in front of the cheerleaders. Professional cheerleaders are professional distractors – just ask the officials from last night’s game!

I am not kidding you!

So .. at the exhibition game, grown men were drunkenly ogling the cheerleaders. Young boys were instructed by fathers to look at the cheerleaders as if it were a required rite of passage. Women sat demurely and dejectedly, whispering things to nobody like, “Oh, that bitch! I bet they’re fake. Oh yah. Fake. You’re all fake. I bet all the guys want you. ‘Ho!”

And! Plus! It was raining, all ya’ll!

Hot chicks in white, tight shirts and shorts, dancing around, half-naked – in the rain! Who needs Hooters when Invesco Field has it all?

Good times! Great vibrations!

Anyway, I do not want to blow my summer’s load in one article, so I will stop here. I also need to go now – I need to buy more lotion – but the point of today’s article is that I am back and will begin blogging in earnest later this week.

In the meantime, be sure to check out the video below. [Note: The video is titled, I Masturbated to Sarah Palin (John McCain Ad)]

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie