Denver – Good morning, everybody! I hope your weekend is going swimmingly. Scientists have explained repeatedly that the Rocky Mountains are split into halves: the northern sedimentary Rockies were created by thrusting faults. The southern part of the Rockies – called the Front Range in Colorado – were created by the faulty thrusting of James Dobson’s massive ego – after he tripped over a crack on the sidewalk!

I am not kidding you!

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can you dig it, ya’know what I’m sayin’?

(Click here to check out this interesting web site – created in response to Mr. Dobson’s ego-driven missives)

So .. golf! Today, I am going golfin’. In fact, I have a tee-time in 48 minutes. When I say, “tee-time,” I am meaning what happens when hot, blond beverage chicks engage in tight, wet tee-shirt contests at golf courses.

Like many golfers, I took Tiger Woods’ presence on national television for granted. It nearly goes without saying that Woods’ commands huge audience numbers whenever he plays in a televised tournament. In many ways, where Tiger Woods goes, so goes the PGA Tour – and pretty much the entire sport itself.

Woods’ recent win at the US Open at Torrey Pines provided major drama and highlight-reel reruns on every sports channel in the universe. Woods’ battled over five days – including an extra playoff round – with two fractures and a torn ACL in his left leg. He literally limped and grimaced his way to winning the US Open over Rocco Mediate, and then promptly announced he was finished for this season.

Meanwhile, on the women’s tour, the 2008 LPGA US Open is currently being played today in Edina, Minnesota. A newly-minted professional, 23-year-old Stacy Lewis – once forced to wear a back brace due to scoliosis – leads that tournament by one stroke. Check out your television programming to watch the LPGA US Open today.

Also, Mac (Mike McConnell aka Kokonut Pundit) recently published an article about the US Deaf Golfers’ Association and a rule banning cochlear implants and hearing aids from competition. As an avid golfer with a registered handicap, it disappoints me that the USDGA would create such a rule.

Here’s why the rule exists:

QUIET: Do NOT move at all when a player is about to swing or putt.

HaHa!

And! Plus! Soon, the Senior US Open tournament will be played in nearby Colorado Springs. I have not played a round at the Broadmoor, location of this years Senior US Open, but eventually, I will blog about some of the golf courses I’ve played at (including Torrey Pines) and hope to include the Broadmoor’s course, as well.

Anyway, I have to go now – my tee-time is in 30-minutes – and in honor of Tiger Woods’ eloquent body language, let me allow him to demonstrate what I did earlier this morning after I realized I had won $5.00 on a lottery ticket:

HaHa!

See you later, gators!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie