Fee Fi Fo Fum!
Denver – Good afternoon, everybody! I hope you’re having a great week this far and are excited for the weekend, too! But, lately, there’s been some confusion on the part of some vloggers who feel that subtitling is a crime against ASL! Blasphemy! And! Plus! Subtitling is now a crime against Deafhood because Paddy Ladd’s book is too damn long to offer in transcripts! That is also why there are Deafhood seminars going around the country – nobody knows what the hell Paddy Ladd says in his book!
I LOVE CONSPICUOUSLY CONFOUNDING COCHLEAR CONFUCIANISTS!
HaHa!
Can ya dig it, ya know what I’m sayin’?
In fact, some vloggers are maintaining that because hearing people do not properly subtitle dental examinations that they will also deprive the Deaf-Blind community of subtitles because it is en vogue to piss and moan about all other things but ASL!
I am not kidding you!
Plus! I’ve also noticed an alarming trend whenever I don’t understand conversations with hot, blonde chicks who wear “tight” jeans and pink angora sweaters. Confounding cackles astound!
Some people may not be aware of this, but there is something called, visual noise and it effects mostly people with cochleas/ears that have gone on strike! Visual noise is especially prominent in pornographic movies!
WOW! What a concept!
One day not too long ago, a hearing friend asked me about pornographic movies, and whether I wanted captioning/subtitles for such movies. I replied, “Captioning? For porn? What for?”
HaHa!
I was at Starbucks at the butt-crack of dawn this morning and noticed a group of Christian women gathered around a table with Bibles opened. One woman said something about, “Fee,” and then another woman nodded in agreement and said, “Fo!”
I tried not to be too conspicuous as I tried to read their lips and Bibles (it helps to know what page, chapter and verse they’re reading), and then another woman quipped, “Fi! We forgot Fi!”
I admit most of the Christian women were nice-looking but none of them caught my eyes like a woman breast-feeding in public! Golly-goodlums! I love supporting breast cancer research by frequenting topless bars around the world, but I draw the line at throwing wrinkled dollar bills at atheist women!
And! On the way home, I was pulled over by a hot, brunette chick who wore a po-lice officer’s uniform! She drove this spiffy-looking car that looked exactly like a po-lice cruiser! I was impressed! In fact, I was so taken aback by her beauty (plus other thoughts), that whenever she spoke with her glossy bubblegum lips, my mind went blank.
Anyway! I told the HOT! female po-lice officer I was Deaf and added the word, “Fum,” after every sentence to ensure that she understood that I was Deaf!
“Young man, do you know why I pulled you over?”
“Fum?”
“You were going too slow there – it almost seems like you were waiting for me.”
“Uhh .. fum!”
“Oh! You’re Deaf? Ohh okay! H-o-w a-r-e y-o-u-?”
“F-u-m.”
HaHa!
So, if you’re a vlogger, nobody is making you subtitle your videos. And yes, visual noise is a problem – especially on Deaf pornographic movies! Again, nobody’s making anyone subtitle/caption their vlogs! This is America, people!
I LOVE DEMOCRACY!
I have to leave now to do more research – I will be eating lunch at the nearby topless dance club because they have an “All You Can Eat English Muffins” buffet for only $12.99! I will do my best to fight through the visual noise there at the club. Pray for me! Wish me well!
Be good .. or be good at it.
Paotie
Fee fi fo fum… sounds like it is from the movie Shrek, hee.
Ha, ha… visual sounds… very true, no need for subtitling for visual sounds in pornographic movies. No more comments from me on this subject.
In fact, DeafRead reminds me a bit of the Shrek community, come to think of it? ;o)
o~/ Fe, fi, fo, fum, I smell the blood of a deaf man \~o
Yeah, that doesn’t roll of my keyboard as smoothly as one would think….
Great post!
CAPTIONS ARE CORKING!
I am wrong…fe,fi fo fum…from Jack and the Beanstalk story. Duh me.
Yup!
“Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Be he ‘live, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”
HaHa! I loved “Jack and the Beanstalk” when I was a kid!
Paotie
Fee, fum, fi, foe, fum…..
Marisa Miller from the SI’s covergirl is on the po-lice du-tee? You caught her by the lipstick.
Huh, uh……
Blonde, brunette, what is next? Raven-black?
;o)
What a way to present the vlogger as a Giant on the cloud, Fee fum fi foe fum!
Hope he’d get the humor of it. ;o)
I’m saying is that Marisa Miller is on the picture in this blog, is the SI’s covergirl this year. She’s the winner that captured Paotie’s heart. She’s off from the po-lice duty tomorrow. She even took care of Paotie’s hair from the head-lice. So, he’s on the way to see her tomorrow, the valentine’s day.
Fum that captured his heart? yeah!
I just read “Jack the Beanstalk” a week ago at school, I want to get these words out of my mind, now you bring it back, argh!!
Are you getting a new Sport Illustrated Swimsuit 2008 magazine?
ah ha…loved Jack and the Beanstalk too…. I used to get real hyper when the part where Jack is running so fast with the Giant behind him. Very fitting comparision, I’ll say!
I’m surprised you’re not behind bars, after saying F.U.M to the PO-lice!
“Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men.”
~Confucius
Heh, heh– visual noise like subtitles? Visual noise at a topless dance club would be pretty overwhelming for any guy, deaf or otherwise…
Huh? I learned it a little differently:
Fe Fi Fo Fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
Be he live or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones TO BUTTER MY BREAD.
Paotie, hmm, I think you and I are pretty good friends by now. Hmm, errr, I love to discover what makes people tick. (Coughing)… And I am wondering why you feel the need to keep advertising your manhood. Women, being what they are today, stamp SUSPECT on a man’s forehead immediately and would just as soon spit in your eye.
Angora sweaters? I thought those were in style when “I” was in high school. You mean they are baaack?
All in good fun, your pal in crime,
Lantana
I can safely say that they Angora sweaters are not in style.
Hats are all the rave though!
Lantana ..
You said: “And I am wondering why you feel the need to keep advertising your manhood.”
Because I can.
Paotie
Wotta bunch of white noise. I wonder if it’s worth captioning…
Vinny ..
Yup – the tuner in your brain needs adjusting.
*winks*
Paotie
Abbie– I was going to mention about the styles too. What’s with this new look of I’m not sure what you call it, but they look like maternity tops to me. I cannot get used to it– maybe cuz I did it already three times when I was pregnant. UGH!! I have bought a few tops like it and then the younger girls comment– “Oh you’re so stylish.” But I much prefer the tighter sweaters that show off my cleavage.
Yeah I know want you mean about the empire waist but it STILL makes you look pregnant. UGH! Though I am old enough people know I’m not pregnant so must assume I am fat– which is unfortunately true! I have seen What not to Wear. I love watching makeovers. If I had thousands of dollars to spend on clothes like those women get on the show, I could probably wear the right thing too.
The last time I watched the show I got some ideas though. I am thinking maybe shoppin for clothing in thrift stores isn’t the best place if you want to look great! You have to set your priorities when saving for retirement and putting two kids through college. We drive old cars, and wear old clothes.
I always hated Angora sweaters because they made my boobs look huge and I did not need the help.
The smock tops are cute only if they have “empire waists”, you know gathers or ribbon or something just under the breast line.
Does anyone watch “What Not To Wear”?? ‘Love that program!
LONG LIVE PAOTIE’S GREEN COUCH!
LOL! Kim, I’m wearing one of them today!! HaHa! It depends on what shape shirt you get. if I get the straight silky style, I take a belt and cinch it right underneath the boobs to accent the hourglass figure.
But those maternity tops, do a marvelous darn gone job of hiding the love handles
but I prefer a black ribbed fitting sweater any day, just not in angora.
I cannot wear any angora sweaters. Any angora sweaters that made my skin itching. Even I am still thin with the 8, however, I am with Lantana’s.
Too bad.
I have a co-worker that dresses real smart and chic. Turns out she never steps her foot in any stores (except for groceries). Yup, she buys everything online. She buys a lot of her clothes at Ebay. She says you’d have to know brands.
I’m not too keen on *some* of the styles these days…I prefer classic or anything that’s laid back. Angora sweaters….hmm It’s out of style (Sorry, Paotie). But cashmere isn’t…ever and they’re tight enough.
I wore enough of these smock tops in the 70’s….ever ride in the “Zipper” at the carnival, wearing smock tops? I couldn’t hold my shirt down and I don’t know how many people saw my boobs. For that reason, I don’t wear smock tops anymore because if the wind blew or if I bend down, I’d be exposed!
I remember wearing a cute Angora sweater top to work one day years ago when I had the figure for one, and it was like a man-magnet in the coffee break room. Angora is “watch-out-what-you-wish-for”stuff. I had to brush off those wandering hands– smack! whack! Mind, dude!!
Didn’t wear the top to work after that– visual noise only for that special date. Yah, I can be a bitch, like Jodi says sometimes. ;o)
Girls, Girls, Girls!
Paotie is depressing right now.
I am reprimanding all of you for *NOT* posting his new blog, Paotie’s Valentine! I am surprised….nevertheless, DR have made him into the extra today. Huh. What a bummer.
Please vote for him to move into the headline.
Paotie, Blow my kiss. Smack!