Denver – Now that we’ve explained the differences between real research and National Enquirer tabloid articles, let’s get on with the business of everyday living. Yesterday morning, I found myself talking to a beautiful woman with sexy, luscious lips – and it all started when I was caught staring at her too much.

I had been eating breakfast after an early morning appointment at a local restaurant when I noticed a younger woman sitting at a table across from me. She had curly, wavy blond hair; she wore a tight, white shirt that accentuated her rather large breasts; and above all, she was a pretty woman, with freckles dotted like a trail of pebbles across her nose, and her lips were beautiful.

They were red and full, and whenever she’d purse her lips together, my mind and heart raced wildly. And the thing about her is that she was so easy to understand that I found myself hypnotized with her as she spoke about something relating to her job with her two other friends – both also females.

I confess that I am an eavesdropper in public. When I can understand people’s lips easily, I tend to struggle with an internal conflict between continuing to stare or look away. Sometimes, I can time things perfectly and hope nobody notices I’m eavesdropping. At other times, I get caught and then blush and smile innocently, hoping for the best.

I don’t even remember what she was saying because I was enthralled with her – she spoke so perfectly that it took so little effort to understand her, and all I wanted to do was sit and listen to her all day. I tried to alternate between eating and pretending to “accidentally” look at her as she talked to avoid being too conspicuous.

I ate a bite from a crispy slice of bacon and resumed reading her lips again. She had taken a sip of water from a half-filled glass, and the moisture on her lips gave her a glossy look on her lips. Her lips were so sensuous. Nothing else mattered at that moment in time for me, and I just .. gave up.

I kept reading her lips.

And then I realized she was talking to me.

“Are you reading my lips?” she asked from across the aisle that separated our tables.

I blinked and felt blood rushing to my cheeks. My face suddenly became a mess of flushed contortions and I was speechless. What do you do when you’re caught? Apologize? Look away and pretend nothing happened?

Except she had caught me, and I was stuck with my never-ending moment of blushing.

I smiled sheepishly and slowly rose from my seat and walked to her table. I apologized to her for reading her lips, and explained that I’m Deaf and that I read lips quite well. In fact, I told her that her lips were rather easy for me to read and that I found her lips to be hypnotic.

She laughed and I could’ve sworn she blushed as we began talking after she invited me to sit at the table with herself and her two other friends. A waitress came and refreshened our drinks and then the beautiful woman and her kissable .. err .. readable lips asked for my name and I told her. Her name, she had said, was Berlinda.

Berlinda had recently moved to Colorado after living in Oregon, and was attending medical school at CU in Boulder. She also said she was an avid snowboarder and loved being outdoors – like I do.

Soon, we were talking for awhile and then she asked me, “Do you find some people’s lips to be easier to read than others?”

I quietly thought about it for a moment before answering, “It depends. It’s not so much the lips, but the face that I read. Men who have beards are sometimes difficult to understand; some Asians are next to impossible for me to read for whatever reasons; and if people have lips that are too big, then I may as well be reading the flapping lips of two overly inflated inner tubes.”

The women laughed as I continued. “And people who speak with some accents make life a little more difficult for me. But the main thing is that people either speak too fast or too slow.”

Nobody stirred as the three women listened intently. A busboy came by and picked up a few empty plates and bowls and left.

“But the worst is when people – after I tell them I’m Deaf and can read their lips – start speaking too slowly as if to help me. That’s okay and nice, but really, it makes things much harder. Reading lips is like sex – it all depends on what your partner does and doesn’t prefer.”

Giggles abounded at the table. Berlinda seemed to inch closer towards me from across the table, and I made a mental note that I would’ve loved to have been sitting next to her – her perfume smelled so good and everything about her made me feel the rest of the universe didn’t exist.

“And then, there are people who talk like professional auctioneers, which makes life impossibly difficult for me. It’s like people who want to have sex the same way jackrabbits breed – super fast and quick.”

Berlinda licked her lips and the gloss appeared once again. A wild thought flashed through my mind.

And then she asked, “How did you learn to read lips?”

“I sat in front of a TV when I was 4 or 5 years old and picked it up quickly.” Heads nodded and Berlinda gave me a wink. Her bright, green eyes with curly eyelashes were stunning. She could clearly and easily be a model.

I finished explaining the various nuances involved with lip-reading and made the women laugh a few times along the way. When it was time for me to leave, I apologized again for being rude and Berlinda waved it off.

“I like the way you look at me, ” she said. “And I’ve never seen a person look at me the way you do and I like it. I think it’s so different and cool – I wish I could read lips, too.”

I blushed again.

We exchanged email addresses as I left with a promise that we’d all hang out at Starbucks soon and chat again. As I left the women behind at their table, Berlinda told me with a smile that seemed to radiate throughout the restaurant, “Next time you see me in a restaurant, don’t hide – come sit with me and talk to me!”

I nodded and headed outside into the cold wind blowing through the parking lot to my truck. As I drove to my next appointment, I could still smell Berlinda’s perfume, and the image of her bright, red and beautiful lips remained with me as I smiled.

Quite often – at least for me – being Deaf has its own rewards. I don’t recommend people read lips in public, or at least be overly conspicuous about it, but hey .. I can’t help myself sometimes. And for the most part, I’m able to avoid detection – but sometimes, being caught isn’t such a bad thing, after all.

Well, that’s my random thought for the day.

Have many of you had similar stories like this? I’ve had some instances in which people have become angry at me for staring too long (and resulted in lots of, “What the fuck are you looking at?”) (and of course, I love a good fight, too).

But, sometimes, being caught has its own rewards – I made a new friend yesterday.

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie