I Hope You D.I.E.
Denver – In the last week, we’ve seen discussions surrounding DeafRead’s neutrality and other issues related to people wanting to appear more professional than they really are. I’ve got nothing left to say about a certain political group, so that issue is dead – at least until someone else wants to address those issues.
D.I.E. and Self-Help
First, self-help. Self-help books are a huge industry, driven by people needing to find quick fixes to their lives and problems. I ain’t criticizing people for finding self-help books, tapes or other means to help them get through their lives (or other issues, goals or whatever.)
But, the latest label from the Label Factor in the Deaf community is called, “D.I.E.” This self-help concept is more about people trying to see other perceptions and understanding where they are coming from in relation to your own perception. I think a more simplified version of D.I.E. is simply this: think before you react.
Anyway, I don’t care to argue what D.I.E. means since the Label Factory is intent on creating as many labels as possible to make themselves feel better about their lives. Again, I ain’t judging anyone for trying to improve their lives. I just want to point out the obvious, though: D.I.E. has got to be the most fatalistic positive self-help concept I have ever seen.
Whatever makes people happy.
*shrugs innocently and kicks a small pebble*
Here’s a great song about D.I.E.:
You must D.I.E., I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird
He cuts you off and you’re forced to swerve
In front of the Beatles’ tour bus,
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck
Hauling hazardous biological waste
The light turns red, you have no brakes
And “Hard Copy” gets it all on tape
So you can see the look on your faceD.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E.
D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E.
Death Clock
Also, did you know there’s a web site that predicts when you’ll die? Yup! There is one for those of you morbidly fatalistic – The Death Clock (click the link and see when you’re predicted to expire.)
I hope your Pinto begins to spin
Takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran
Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize winner
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner
Perhaps even the British Royal family
And the Rabbi that’s clutching the bottle-fed puppy
And we can’t forget the newlyweds
And those Jerry’s Kids are as good as deadI hope this helps to emphasize
I hope this helps to clarify
I hope you D.I.E.
D.I.E. Hard movies
John McClane rules on the D.I.E. Hard movie trailers. The last movie, Live Free or D.I.E. Hard is a great one, too! Ya’ll should check it out if you haven’t. Coming soon to a theater near you: D.I.E. Hard In A Hospice.
I hope your cell mate thinks he’s God
But CNN refer to him as “Bowling Ball Bag Bob”
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse
Only this time the victim’s a Clydesdale horse
While he masturbates to photos of livestock
He does the “Silence of the Lambs” dance to Christian Rock
Eats feces and quotes from “Deliverance”
And fights with his imaginary playmate VinceD.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E.
D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E. D.I.E.
German Political Game
In Germany, there’s a political game board called, “D.I.E. Macher.” According to the web site, the game is, “… about seven sequential political races in different regions of Germany. Players are in charge of national political parties, and must manage limited resources to help their party to victory. The winning party will have the most victory points after all the regional elections.”
I think I will check that game out. Sounds interesting.
I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson
And forces you to play a game called “Balls On Chin”
And whatever happens next is all a blur
But you remember “fist” can be a verb
And when you finally regain consciousness
You’re bound and gagged in a wedding dress
And the prison guard looks the other way
‘Cause he’s the guy ya flipped the bird the other dayI hope this helps to emphasize
I hope this helps to clarify
I hope you D.I.E.
Strange Ways to D.I.E.
And finally, for those of your morbidly worried about death and dying, there’s a web site that tells you seven different and strange ways to D.I.E. Apparently, people have died having the last laugh. Seven Strange Ways to Die is probably something all ya’ll can check out. Or not.
So, if you’re one of those people who subscribe to the latest Label Factory’s label of D.I.E., I hope it works out well for you. I would suggest changing the acronym to something a wee bit more positive and less fatalistic, but then again, as some people are continously stating, it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.
It’s like someone saying, “If people want to view a glass as half-empty, that is their reality. OOoooOOOoOoOh.” Except that few people consider the possibility that a glass might be half-filled after being placed under a leaking sink. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Does it matter? I guess some people just want to obsess with their perceptions as it relates to the world, whether it’s through half-filled glasses or concepts that offer fatalistic acronyms.
I hope you D.I.E.
By the way, the lyrics are from the Bloodhound Gang for the song, “I hope you die.”
Have a great and safe weekend.
Be good .. or be good at it.
Paotie
Sphere: Related Content
LOL. Starting to move toward a dark satire eh?
Well at least the acronym D.I.E. got everyone’s attention! Enough to read it to find out its more about a technique to use when reading articles on DeafRead and making comments…taking the time to understand where people are coming from, ask questions for clarification, before you react. More of a “Stairway to Heaven”, than “I hope you die”.
LOL… Interesting spin though.
Yeah, think before act, don’t judge by the cover of the book, read books before watching movies, etc. Well, at least we all learned something new, to absorb the psychological definition and approach. It opened up a good discussion for some people to share their experiences, so it was interesting to read their experiences.
You remind me of one guy from Dante’s Peak… one nerdy guy who sang “Java, java…” (I think) in teasing the geologist’s crush on small town mayor who ran the coffee shop.
yay! You made the cut!!! I am supposed to die in 2054, 2053 and 2055….it changes all the time. Guess I do have nine lives after all! yippie~
Thank you for the chuckle. Apparently I neglected to use the DIE concept when commenting in The signs of the Times’ blog. It sure felt good yelling. It made me feel alive!
“It’s never too late to live your life,
the time is now, it’s do or die
it’s never too late to live your life,
the time is now, it’s yours and mine” – Papa Roach
Since I started commenting on the DR blogs, it was Deafhood, then Deficit Thinking, then ASLAN, and now this D.I.E. Deaf “philosophy” turning into acronyms, as though coding has suddenly become necessary. *roll of eyes*
Ella….rolls my eyes.
Talking about “have a faith.” Martin L. King and Rosa Parks are my idols. That’s because they had their faiths, therefore, they taught me how to use my faith to against the crazy people who tried to attack me……LOL.
Once again the crazy library lady is sitting at her desk trying to muffle snorts and giggles behind a stack of books.
Paotie– if they haul me away, it’s your fault!!
Also– I wanted to say I feel a tinge of jealousy over the fabulous hairstyle that woman is wearing. WOW! Why won’t my hair do something like that?!
*grin* Yah, the Medusa about to swallow you up live, Paotie, and I suppose you wouldn’t mind it one bit.
Paotie: you know the really scary part? D.I.E., as demonstrated by Ella, isn’t even a genuine self-help technique. It’s just another way for her and her cronies to justify demeaning interpretations of other people’s behavior or statements. Let me give you an example from her web site, “Ella’s Flashlight.” She was responding to an anonymous commenter who said something negative about a DBC activist.
“You are a person … that thinks its just fine to be 100% anonymous and allow your comments to speak for themselves. .. you are not as familiar with deep cultural thinking that values good and healthy networking.
“You are a person who’s been resisting the viability and wisdom of Deaf “experts” …
“You believe that the ‘oppressive’ practices are equally done and equal in their weight by Deaf people against other Deaf people as its done by Oralism [sic] against Deaf people.
“…it’s wrong to be totally anonymous when making such ‘nasty’ comments. … it’s better to be accountable for what you say and that will make you “think thrice” about how to say things.”
I mean, WTF? Whatever happened to using “I” language? To talking about one’s own feelings, and not “rushing to judgment” about someone else’s behavior or feelings? What happened to “open dialogue”? At least David Eberwein has the right idea in explaining himself and giving examples.
And finally, an example was given about a deaf person talking on a cell phone in front of other deaf people. Although she didn’t come right out and say so, the implication was that it’s wrong to do that. Let’s apply Ella’s version of D.I.E. to that situation:
Describe: a deaf person talking on a cell phone in front of other deaf people.
Interpretation: That person has to be putting down deaf people! He must be evil! He must be showing off! Audist! He must be rubbing our noses in it that he can hear and we can’t!
Evaluation: I’m Ella Mae Lentz, I’m an expert on Deaf Culture, and I say I’m right to forbid any deaf person to talk in front of other deaf people!
Now, if I were using D.I.E. in the correct way, it would go like this:
Describe: deaf person talking on a cell phone in front of other deaf people
Interpretation: That deaf person might actually be hard of hearing, or else have quite a bit of residual hearing, a CI, or be talking to someone whose voice he is familiar with. Or maybe the conversation is all one way, and the other person is saying “Yes Yes” or “No”?
Evaluation: who the eff cares? I just go on with my business. If I’m really curious, I might ask the person for more details about exactly what he hears, with whom, and in what situations.
Give me a farking break … Criticism aside, I greatly admire and genuinely like Ella Mae as a person. She isn’t doing herself and her cause any great service by this particular vlog. and please … “D.I.E.” is one of the *most* unfortunate acronyms I’ve ever seen!
Ah, “think thrice”, did she really sign that? Thinking twice before saying or signing a remark, ok, but thrice, that is, 3 times, whoa! That does border on the ridiculous, if that happens to be true what she signed.
Ella claims she doesn’t know everything (humility factor), but she doesn’t acknowledge others’ differing views (steamroll ‘em factor). Rather contradictory, isn’t it? D.I.E., my eye.
Besides, aren’t there bigger issues out there for the deaf community to deal with than an “expert” scolding an anonymous commenter?
Yea, Nonny Muss, I saw that statement ” a deaf person talking on a cell phone in front of other deaf people.” and she didn’t elaborate any further and I wasn’t about to jump to conclusion, but, at the same time I did “WONDER” why she made that comment. That comment was an insult to HOH people who can use the phone! What happen to respecting diversity? whoooooo! deaf people are *Not* supposed to use the phone! no no! lol Many deaf people who happen to have good residual hearing can and do use the phone in varying degrees. Some use it with people they are familiar with such as their parents, siblings, etc. Others improve their listening skills over the years and are able to use it with ampflications. Those who use the phone fluently are able to use it and understand more due to the sound traveling from the phone directly to the ears as oppose to being in a group of talking people in a room which is harder to understand due to the large area where sounds are floated around. I think it’s a win win situation for anyone to try to overcome any obstacles in life with whatever skills they happen to have and that should not in any way be made to look as if these deaf people are making other deaf people inferior. sigh… I wish deaf people would respect everyone and that just because some deaf can do something that other deaf people can’t has nothing to do with “superiority”. That’s crab theory for ya!
Yeah….rolling my eyes on Ella.
Determine: I am profoundly deaf.
Interpretation: I am doing my violin.
Evaluation: I Never understand the music.
sarcastic but blunder, isn’t it? hee, hee, hee
That is what Ella caused into a blistery misunderstanding….
White Ghost
Hey you a nonny muss, c, white ghost, and other anonymous posters…you lose all your credibility with me when you want to critique, slam, bam, whatever to people you dislike. If you honestly believed in what you are saying, then you would not be anonymous. I thought the whole point about starting the new year on the right foot with trying to have a productive dialouge was a good one. Name calling people Medusa is childish in my opinion. C mentioned respect. Yes I too talk alot about respect. Its a two way street. THose of you anonymous posters who want to be respected, gotta show respect. And in my opinion, it starts with saying your own name. There is power in your own name, you. There is none when you chose to be anonymous. This isn’t just for this site commenters, I feel this way toward all sites. And I hope someone brings this up at the next DeafRead Conference because I do not feel any blogger worth his/her salt should allow anonymous posters.
I totally disagree about the cell phone issue. It is not that a deaf person can use the cell phone. Its about the fact that the deaf person uses the cell phone in front of other deaf. In my opinion, it shows disrespect, lack of sensitivity toward those who can’t use the cell phone, rubbing it in. I mean what is the point? It may appear impressive to use the cell phone in front of hearing friends. In front of Deaf friends at a party or something, I just don’t think that’s kosher at all. If you need to make a call, go into another room. No one would put them down for that. It is the way these people do it with making these cell phone calls, not the fact that they use cell phones at all. Capice?
Some people are real good about shooting down others. To such people, honestly, I would like to know what kind of contribution you are making to society other than drinking coffee and reading DeafRead? Ya know? If you see someone on another site who you feel is putting you down, feel free to borrow my words. If you want to make a point, use your own name, and make your comment with respect.
I’m all for fun and games. I like Paotie’s style cuz it’s different, and very intelligent. But seeing commenters abuse people and remain anonymous, taunting and name calling – hey, that’s where I draw the line. Be it Ella, Paotie, Amy Cohen, Julie Rems Smario, Mike McConnell, whoever it is anonymous people love to attack – anonymous posters have ZERO credibility with me.
You got something to say about these people, then damn well show some guts and use your own name! Show respect and have a productive dialouge.
(thanks for listening).
Remember what Tayler said?
“Keep your friends close, but keep your enemy closer.”
White Ghost
Sheri, Paotie and many others that I’ve left comments with know my personal email address, that is not anonymous. I have corresponded with some bloggers via email and always sign off with my REAL NAME. I have a right to my opinons ok. I wasn’t bashing nor was I disrespecting anyone. You’re shooting your mouth off ya know. It’s your opinion that you feel deaf are showing disrespect by using cell phone in front of others, so be it. I feel that is going too far and that is my personal opinion. There is a difference in being totally anonymous vs using blog name or real name. As long as the owner of the blog knows who I am, that is all that matters. Anyone can email me if they have questions to who I am. Start your own blog and I’ll comment with my real email address and you can start your P.I. on me if you wish. geez get a grip.
Sheri, it’s funny that you read Paotie’s blog. Paotie is not his real name. The only reason many know his name now is because one person “outed” him in a witch-hunt.
C, the only place I quoted you was where you talked about respect. Never heard of you nor your blog, so you are anonymous as a commenter in my eyes. And yes, as it states clearly, the issue about cell phone is from my own perspective. So why don’t you “get a grip” and realize that I am talking about the whole picture, and the only way the attacks, name-calling, witch-hunt is going to stop is if more of us put our foot down together and continuously say “stop”.
“Paotie” (or Peyote) is a pen name for this blog. Likewise all the other blogs who have titles not under their name. If they do not explain who they are I normally do not bother. However, I am also not familiar with the witchhunt you are referring to about his real name. I am all too familiar with the witch hunt people have done to other people, and I too have been a victim.
Most people who know me consider me to be a very fair person. I look at all sides.
You whoever you are, don’t know me at all, so don’t be too quick to shoot. All I see is “C”. However, if you believe in what I am trying to say, then if it needs to be stated clearer, simply help to say it in a better way.
Thanks.
If Paotie has any issues with me posting my pen name, let him speak or forever hold his tongue~ It’s his blog.
*laughs*
C ..
You’re looking good to me – ain’t no problem with you.
Just email me some damn snow, okay? Meanwhile, someone else needs to learn what an IP address is.
Paotie
The issue I raised is about banning anonymous posters who wish to criticize, name-calling, etc, in other words, behaving as a cyberbully on any b/vlog not just this site.
Sheri ..
Well, if you want to ban anonymous commentators at your blog, why don’t you?
Nobody’s going to tell me how to run my blog, either.
The blog I was involved with, had strict rules, which involved no name calling, etc which we called, cyberbullies. This site was hosted by a group of women who wished to see the witchhunts end. We have all been busy with our own lives to continue with it. So from time to time I enjoy catching up on DeafRead and learning about new people.
I was not trying to tell you how to run your site. Just that if you had any credibility, you would set rules so that people do not get carried away and start bashing and creating a witchhunt of their own.
Thanks for letting me know you will allow anonymous posters who wish to behave as cyberbullies on your site.
I won’t be participating any longer, I draw the line on cyberbullies.
Sheri ..
Good luck!
*waves*
Paotie
Sheri,
Take it easy, Medusa was a reference to Paotie’s picture in the blog– it’s a reference to the ol’ Latin(Greek?) story of Medusa with snakes for hair, ok? Nothing to do with slamming anybody. It was a joke on Paotie, what with his preoccupation with hotties.
My bad if anybody was thinking otherwise, oops.
As for anony commenters, there is often a reason they’re anonymous– privacy. If you had been watching the blogs earlier in say, was it November?, you’d have witnessed what John E. had attempted to do to Paotie, trying to discredit him with what John E. thought was harmful personal info, never mind that much of it was erroneous.
The fact that John went to the trouble of digging up info on Paotie shows the lengths people will go to do an expose’ of someone. The accusations, no matter if they’re false, continue to circulate and can damage someone’s blogging rep. It’s often a device to drive what some people view as an “undesirable” off the blogosphere. Scary enough for you?
As for cell phone usage among the Deaf being disrespectful manners, how many more etiquette rules will be sufficient? Think about it. Hearing people think nothing of talking on cell phones at dinner, in the restaurant, at work, in many public places. It will be unavoidable for the Deaf eventually– what about an emergency call from the babysitter at home, for example? Phone etiquette will become rather cumbersome.
Lastly, if you’ll read more carefully, most of us commenters here haven’t called people nasty names or labels, but we do notice the contradictions or inconsistency in some bloggers’ or commenters’ remarks. There’s a big difference between attacking, calling somebody nasty names and differing with another person’s view.
I enjoy your conversational manner in your comments, Sheri, and you do provide a balance and honesty in the commentary in whatever blog you’re in.
Ya know. . . I think Sheri has a good point though. Because it really IS too easy to insult people under the anonymous umbrella. An IP address doesn’t do much good either, because anyone can log in with a different or an invisible IP with an internet proxy site.
On the other hand, I would like to make three points–
1) While Paotie’s name is a pen name, we know where to find him. We know his internet personality. That’s honestly all any of us know of anyone, so that’s OK.
2) As far as what you said about Paotie’s real name, White Ghost, Paotie wasn’t “outed” exactly. Paotie “outed” himself when he first opened his blog. He also posted a picture of someone he said was him. Then again, haven’t we all seen those cartoons where the person behind the computer screen is nothing like the person they say they are??
4) So what if you have an email address? That doesn’t tell you anything. People use abbreviated names and women use maiden names on email addresses all the time.
Conclusion– On the one hand I agree with Sheri. The ‘anonymous’ thingy is cowardly or at the very least a cop out. People are forced to think a little bit before they say something if they use a name that links back to their website or email. They have to be willing to take a lot of heat. They know others will point to them and say, “SHE’s the one who started all this when she said. . . ” Paotie has proven he’s willing to that. Anonymous posters are like hit and run drivers. It’s soooooo cowardly.
On the other hand, I agree with Paotie, because we’re ALL anonymous to a certain extent.
I don’t know how DeafRead would enforce no anonymous posting. It is your site Paotie and you don’t tend to moderate people unless they piss you off. Like Me. . .
You know, Paotie, I’ve long ago had to accept the fact that other people were smarter than me, had more money, more talent, more education, taller, thinner, nicer cars, a hotter spouse, bigger houses, and more hearing than me. So when someone I know goes out and buys a brand new Lexus, I don’t go around thinking, “jeez, some friend … he’s rubbing my nose in the fact that he has lots of money!” When a colleague talks about a chapter in a book he’s writing with a hot shot, or having lunches with other hot shots, I don’t take it personally or feel inferior. It’s just him, and who he is in life right now.
In my earlier comment today, I didn’t call anyone names or bully anyone, I just pointed out that their words don’t match their actions. (No, I probably wasn’t kind and gentle and diplomatic about it either. So sue me.) I’m all for everyone having their opinion and expressing it, but people like Ella and Sheri scare me because they want to know who I am. And why do they want to know who I am? Going by their words, I can’t help but feel it’s because they want to hurt me or punish me in some way, like John E. did to you.
For me, the way to build unity is not by judging deaf people who talk on cell phones or do other things of that nature. It’s about looking inside oneself and trying to come to grips with why someone else’s totally innocent action should disturb me. The way I see it, a deaf person talking on a cell phone is simply communicating in a way that’s available to him, just like another deaf person would use a pager. You could certainly say that both are rude. That people such as Sheri would ascribe negative motives for doing it says so much more about her than it does about the deaf cell phone user. There’s simply no reason for a deaf person who is secure in his or her own personhood to feel offended about the fact that other deaf people can hear more.
The phone etiquette thing. . .
This has happened to me at other events. It has nothing to do with the phone. I’m sittting at a round table with late-deaf people. All of them can use their voices, however two discover they can both talk in ASL. Suddenly their hands are flying and they leave the rest of us out of the conversation.
Is this rude??
It’s very similar to the cell phone debate. Many late-deafened people wish they could talk with their hands.
What about when Deaf people won’t talk to late-deaf people because they’re “too slow” or “awkward” at signing. Is that rude?
Let’s be honest here. Our community is made up of people with many different abilities depending on when we lost our hearing, how we were raised and what we can still hear. I think if you’re still feeling upset about people using a phone in front of you, perhaps YOU haven’t accepted your Deafness yet.
At my late-deaf conventions with Say what club, people use cell phones all the time. Probably more than half of us can’t use them, the other half have CI’s or use with loops attached. The rest of us are only happy for them that they’re hearing so well with their CI’s or loop assisted devices. If someone discovers a new device, we share info about that. That’s how I found out about SideKicks many years ago, and CLA7.
Sometimes when we’ve been drinking we take our earmolds off and listen to each other’s hearing aids– you know– just to see.
I’ve done this in large groups passing around aids like they were marbles. (*Whose are these?? Very nice!*) A couple years ago my roommate flew back to Chicago and bought herself a new pair of aids after listening to mine. Sorry to get off track.
He’s only cute if you like big, stinky slobbery dogs. I’m more of a cat person myself.
Where IS that picture you posted way back when anyway, Paotie? That one where you were sitting in front of a closed tavern?
I am copying and pasting my comment from one of Paotie’s articles (Yahoo DeafRead) since I feel it has to do with this article. Remember this is just my perspective.
“Hmmm… Paotie has not attacked anyone… he just pokes fun at how the topics were discussed by v/bloggers… of course, in turn it is felt as an attack. I believe that humor is not greatly understood by the deaf people in general due to having missed out while growing up. Oh yes, there is deaf humor, but not hearing humor. I mean, do you think that the majority of DeafReaders would understand Paotie’s latest blog related to D.I.E.? I doubt it and I know they will be offended by it. It is just his perspective and it is always good to have different perspectives so that we could appreciate people more and not to get all heated up under our collars, ya know? One could apply music, culture, etc., to throw interesting lights on the topics so that we could appreciate and see more depth in any topics.”
Good Morning! I have had a nice night sleep…..sorry that I missed the great discussion with you guys last night!
C and Ann_C have the point. Don’t forget that the deaf community is much smaller and smaller than in the past. So, we do not want to let them know who we are.
I prefer to keep my name private in order to keep my reputation clean.
Know what I love being a White Ghost because Casper is my cartoon boy.
I thought that Sheri perplexed me into the anonymous thing.
White Ghost
I don’t have a problem with people choosing to remain annoymous in the comments as long as they provide insightful comments. The fact that Paotie, White Ghost, etc. choose to use pen pal names does not bother me at all… I guess some v/bloggers and commenters feel frustrated by not knowing enough about them, so it is smart of the annoymous to draw boundaries in the cyberworld. As for me, I just have to pay more attention to the way I comment and of course, sometimes my comments get misinterpreted and twisted out of their context. *shrug*.
Casper is adorable isn’t he?
I think many of us who can use the phone don’t go around prancing with a phone in hand. We just answer the phone mindlessly with no clue that anyone is peturbed. I used to be careful letting deaf see me use the phone at Gallaudet, but once my siblings let it out that I could use the phone, guess what? We’re stuck somewhere and everyone looks to me to use the phone. Thank God there’s SK, BB and all these wonderful gadgets we have now!
deaf community is still very far from accepting all deaf way, warts and all. I say this with this knowledge from being smack right in the middle of deaf culture from birth till present.
Karen, deaf is a small small world. There are a handful of my family and friends that know who I am. It’s no big deal really, it is those that do not know me that I have no need to reveal who I really am for obvious reasons. The time will come when my identity will be revealed in whatever circumstances. Yet, I still have to be careful how I comment as well. I”m usually very outspoken about my views (more so in person than blogs) and those that knows me know that and respect that, they also know that I do respect their views as well. Oh, by the way, you probably know my brother and my sister in law, and my niece and nephews. See how small this deaf world is? lol I think you’re so brave, really and I commend you for that.
Karen,
Eventhough, I saw your vlog long time ago, I do not know you pretty well. I know your’e a good person. Since I lastly saw your vlog, obviously, your’e a good person that I know of. I never met you, for instance.
I second to C that I commend you for your bravery with your identity. I know it is not very easy thing for you to deal with.
I respectfully admire you for that.
There is a but……
Look at John Egbert. We *already* know that John Egbert who is a leader that hurted several commenters and their views for no reason. He should have deleted comments that tried to attack John. John E. was (still is) irresponsible for naming someone he really hates. John blew by this kind of behavior. That is a bad example. That is really sad.
*I am really chickened it out for revealing for who I am.* LOL.
White Ghost
Yes, I understand your need to remain anonymous out of fear of not being understood and not being appreciated for who you are. Judgment is cruel…
Yeah, it is sad about how a few leaders would allow bullying on their sites. I’d have no problem with people voicing their strong opinions, but I guess it is their comprehension and expression of English which is not at par with speaking English people which lead to them feeling inadequate and frustrated at not understanding fully… whatever psychological babble would explain their need for control. I do feel out of league once a while when I read DeafDC’s blogs!
C…. hmmmm… my mind is churning over which family you could be related to here in Indiana… ;o) There are may relatives who work at ISD, so it is kinda hard to figure out who… ha ha…But I don’t spend a lot of time on ISD campus though.
White Ghost
) I LOVED Casper while I was a little girl!
Karen, I’ll have him tell you. You guys are in the same parent/teacher group I believe. I know, there’s lots of deaf families in ISD, so I was told.
*laughs*
You know, Sheri proved Muss’ point right. Sheri misunderstood the Medusa comment (which was referencing the picture of the woman with the ram-like hair) and misconstrued the comment as a personal insult towards her.
Sheri’s response was to group C and Ann_C. into the same group of anonymous posters who engage in “name-calling” among other things, and adding the fact people should “stop” with the witch-hunts and other practices.
If Sheri had asked for clarification of the Medusa comment, then the whole episode may have been avoided. But Sheri read the Medusa comment as an insult (to whom – her or me?).
This, in a nutshell, is symptomatic to the d/Deaf blogosphere – people react without thinking.
Another thing: self-help concepts are like clothes – they only fit some people perfectly and don’t fit others at all. It’s when people start expecting/advocating/implying that their self-help concept supersedes all other issues during a conversation.
“I feel” statements are a great example. Too many people abuse the “I feel” statements.
Correct way to use an “I feel” statement:
Person A: I feel upset with some comments – like the Medusa comment. I feel like it is an insult to me.
Person B: I apologize. My comment was a reference to the picture in Paotie’s article – not you.
Person A: Oh, okay. Sorry, I misunderstood the comment. Thank you.
—-
How people abuse “I feel” statements:
Person A: I feel hurt because you made an offensive comment about me.
Person B: I apologize, but the comment was not about you.
Person A: I feel you are a name-caller.
—–
Paotie
yeah, I feel you. lol
“They gave me a life thats not so easy to live
And then they sent me on my way
I left my loving, forgot my dreams
I lost them along the way
Those little things you say
When words mean so much
You never back down
And they all shy away
You always listen to me
And what do I care to get me through these sleepless nights
And what do I have to hold when no ones there to hold me tight
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is I feel and I feel you” – Three Doors Down
That’s exactly my point too, Paotie. There’s a lot of irony in this tendency of some in the deaf blogosphere to encourage their “opponents” to apply self-help techniques, but those same deaf people would never think of applying the techniques to their own selves. Why should they? After all, these self-appointed “experts” are always right, and everyone else is always wrong. For people who want to make a serious effort towards critical thinking and analysis, it behooves us to generate as many alternative hypotheses as possible to challenge one’s interpretations, and to make an effort to think of some that don’t end up demonizing the other person.
I do happen to believe that my comments should speak for themselves and no information about me personally is needed to assess their validity. It’s laughable that certain people feel I must establish my credibility or earn their respect by revealing my name. Why should I? I don’t know them, and they don’t know me. I don’t need them to be my friends, respect me, like me, or give me privileges in my personal or professional life. Whether they take me seriously or not, my life goes along swimmingly. I think it’s pretty evident who the real cyberbullies are, don’t you?
Muss ..
Absolutely.
The focus on the half-glass/half-full analogy illustrated people failing to understand the broader scope and framework of such an analogy with regard to people and their realities.
Some believed that grasping the concept meant that people view the glass in terms of absolute negative or absolute positive terms. It’s either positive or negative.
I’m not going to argue about absolutes, but I want to demonstrate the flaw that happens too often with regard to the half-full and half-empty glass analogy:
Suppose you put a glass under a leaking water pipe and let the glass fill halfway up and then remove it before placing it on a table for introspection.
There are quite a number of possibilities with regard to view of the glass itself in the leaking pipe example. To name a few:
It is good because no water dripped onto the wooden cabinet floor.
It is good because preventing water seepage into the wood prevents mold.
It is bad that the water dripped into the glass because it means there is a leak.
Leaks are progressive and a sign of failure/wear of pipes and joints.
Unchecked/unfixed pipes lead to greater problems.
So, in this analogy, it really makes no sense to bog things down into a “half-full” or “half-empty” glass because, well .. it is what it is.
Now that I’ve explained this analogy, some people may reject my argument on the whole concept of deficit thinking (which is where the “half-full” argument was borne from), and that’s fine.
Too many of the “experts” preaching those self-help concepts are failing to understand what those concepts really mean. Deficit thinking is a great example, as well as the D.I.E.
These “experts” promote anti-critical thinking, mostly because they don’t like to be challenged, and if so, it has to be on their conditions entirely.
That may be the problem, in a nutshell.
Paotie
That’s what the perplexing is all about, isn’t it?
Smirky smile.
White Ghost
well said, Paotie.
By the way, is anyone else noticing that all of a sudden, there’s a whole bunch of CI blogs on DeafRead?
*chuckle*
ohhhh… you’ll love this.
just when I thought things could not possibly get any better…
Paotie is “the new Ridor”!
check it out here.
And see how he quickly disassociates himself from porn, not wanting to be guilty by association. lol
*laughs*
Yup, Muss, I noticed, too. And I think it’s GREAT that Sherlock discovered my blog, too!
It’s okay if he doesn’t like my blog. But I really do appreciate him posting the link here!
Excellent!
Paotie
C -
YUP!
DEAF Porn! I love it!
Paotie
just goes to show there’s no such thing as “bad” publicity, eh?
May I congratulate you for being you, Paotie.
I officially am announcing that Paotie is my all-time favorite blogger.
A Nonny Muss, that is what the reasonable accommodations/equal opportunity are all about, that is where Deafread have to follow….
White Ghost
The interesting thing about commenting is that regardless of anonymity or not, the commenter’s personality shows thru in his/her style of writing and views, if the commenter is a regular. The nametag is only important in that people will recognize it’s White Ghost, or C, or me, under Ann_C, etc.
Boy, if anonymous commenters are banned from commenting in other people’s blogs, it would certainly reduce DR readership even further. It’s another form of censorship.
What if a hearing parent of a deaf child wanted to comment or ask questions on a blog site and didn’t want to use his real name for a nametag? What if it’s an oral deaf person who wants to learn more about the deaf world to decide if he wants to enter it before revealing his identity? What if it’s a deaf parent wanting to explore CI options and experiences of other CI’ers for his deaf child? What if it’s a late-deafened adult exploring the Deaf culture or looking for CI options and experiences of other CI’ers before making a decision for himself? It’s understandable that a lot of folks don’t want to use a real name.
*blushes and kicks a small pebble*
White Ghost ..
Thank you! You’re a great teddy bear!
Paotie
Hi
A Nonny Muss,
First of all, I have to say I had not thought about how small the Deaf community is or the repurcussions that can happen socially offline after one states their heartfelt opinions in here.
I understand some fear their children could be mistreated in Deaf schools for speaking out against certain issues of Deaf “thought”.
It’s much different living in a hearing community. NONE of my friends or family even know about DeafRead except for maybe a few other late-deafened friends. We’re pretty much in agreement about most d/Deaf/HH issues, and when we disagree I don’t become an outcast of the community.
I was wrong to criticize.
I understand now.
Paotie–
You’re right about I messages, but the example above was a misuse of them because they two people were not using them correctly. Person A’s last statement is actually a “you” messsage, not an “I” message.
However, any four-year-old can learn to manipulate her parents with “I’ messages, which is another reason they don’t work.
In fact, you’re right about all self-help techniques and all parenting manuals. No one can write about every single situation you’ll run into with REAL people. Some people are just plain weird. Children are very strange and unpredictable in their thinking most the time as they’re growing. Usually the best approach is to lock yourself in your bedroom until you’re calm. They can be encouraged to behave with rewards and treats. Men are not unlike children.
You’ve been annointed the new “Ridor” by Sherlock Steve. Note he called you so sick, his words not mine. folks.
Paotie, you know who your real friends are. I hope that others will start to read your blog out of curiosity about this new “Ridor” and learn some positive things about the deaf community. For example, it’s not a bad thing to think for oneself here.
Ann ..
Even more telling is this comment left by Sherlock:
“where’s Ricky Taylor when we had fun to kick him around?”
Kicking people around.
Interesting – and people want unity, and respect and no-name calling for Deaf culture and the community?
*laughs*
Paotie
*Shaking my head* we are weird, all right… crying for Deaf Unity, explaining in earnest about Deaf Culture, etc., while demanding for a scrapegoat to kick around. Geez.
Yeah, I am more skeptical of the DeafRead’s human editors now… I wonder how many bloggers/vloggers have been declared “inactive”… especially the ones with CIs… interesting. I am sure they are covering up their butts now, but it is kinda too late.
Karen,
Yeah, they are covering up their butts. I bet they realized that the sponsor, Sprint expects the human editors to follow the equal opportunity/reasonable accommodation rules.
I reckon that there might be a reason why that the deafread has to come up with the “clean” records for the sponsors’ sake.
Remember that this is the America.
Paotie, you got yourself blushed….I got my first strike! I did my great job for blushing you. Yay!
White Ghost
Karen Mayes,
I don’t think it’s the fault of DeafRead human editors that some of CI bloggers went inactive. After all, it’s their own responsibility to maintain their own blogsites, and update the content on their sites. If somewhere down the road, they lost the interest or motivation to keep blogging, then naturally they will fall off radar, so to speak figuratively.
It is worth mentioning that DeafRead does not reach out to potential bloggers, they have to submit their blogs or links to human editors. If one fails to submit, then whose fault is it? Don’t blame it entirely on DeafRead.
Let’s face it, if what you said is true, then why is Paotie’s blog posted on DeafRead? That directly contradicts your theory. McConnell and Paotie’s blogs have been consistently posted on DeafRead, and I did recall a human editor posting his comment on either Mike or Paotie’s blog that such topics discussed in a certain manner or from a different prespective wouldn’t be banned or blocked. What was that?
But to each his own….
Picard90–
Stranger things have happened. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. I agree they’ve been more than fair on several occasions.
That’s not exactly what happened. Most of us don’t have to submit our blogs every time we post. Once you become part of the “aggregator” or whatever, DeafRead picks up your posts every time you post, unless the content is deemed inappropriate for some reason. None of the bloggers whose posts had not been picked up were inappropriate. JJ’s explanation was that they had evidently fallen “inactive” for some period of time. Since none of the bloggers have had long inactive periods, I suggest perhaps it was some sort of computer glitch. That it happened only to people with cochlear implants was a coincidence–OK?
Paotie,
I wanted to comment on your leaky faucet analogy. I really liked what you had to say. This is an example of how someone can get bogged down in details without looking at the bigger picture. It’s not that D.I.E. is bad. It’s a great tool in many instances. It can diffuse an argument. But eventually two people are going to have to look at the bigger picture if they continually butt heads over the same issue.
Example– This “I message– “I feel annoyed when our money gets wasted on gambling debts, so that we can’t pay our bills” is indicative of BIG PROBLEM. An “I” message might not work here because the problem could be too great–like your leaky faucet example. Still– “I” messages work great in a lot pf every day situations.
The Deafhood concept is about self-acceptance, which can be a positive force for many Deaf people. We ALL need to have good self-esteem in order to self-actualize– and finally to be tolerant of others. It is insecurity and lack of self-acceptance that causes people to be intolerant of others. So I believe promoting self-esteem among the Deaf is a wonderful tool, but again—it isn’t necessarily the ONLY tool.
There are times when the Deafhood model is misused– though I wouldn’t say it happens often. The misuse would be when it is used to belittle others– such as the “deaf” who are newly deafened or oral deaf or those with implants, or any deaf person who is seen as not accepting of their deafness. (little d intended) Belittling others is no way to boost self-esteem. It’s a false way to elevate one’s self-worth, because when you do then your value relies only on what others lack. That puts you in a precarious position because others can change their positions at any time by learning something new. (I don’t mean you Paotie, I mean “you” people) Belittling others is self-defeating. I haven’t been to the Deafhood workshops, so I may be way off base but from what I’ve read and learned of it, I believe in the concept of self-acceptance within the Deafhood experience. However, I think some are misinterpreting the message. It’s about acceptance of self, not lack of tolerance towards those who are different from self.
Critical thinking skills are developed by reading a variety of materials, being exposed to people of different cultures and backgrounds, and through college education/debate, etc. A person has to be willing to read or discuss the other point of view with an open mind–whatever that may be.
It was so nice to seeing more Moms or Dads of the CI children to enter the deafread. I was so thrilled to see them entering the deafread!
Deafread is for everybody, *NOT* just for deaf only.
I want to see all of us to learn and share with them and their perspective.
White Ghost
Kim, self-acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like it. I get the feeling that proponents of “deafhood” are trying to make it about “self-acceptance’ and that you “like it” (ie. your deafness or being deaf). I’ve acknowledged and accepted my deafness a long, long time ago. Though it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I don’t “celebrate” my deafness any more that people who go around and “celebrate” their vision loss. Let me go out and buy myself a pair of granny goggles to celebrate my vision loss. Whoopee! So, there is no reason for me celebrate “deaf pride” any more than to try and celebrate “cripple pride.” What I do celebrate is life and the successes and accomplishments I have done so far. Not about my disability or condition.
Well, here’s a great thought of the day that I found on DeafRead regarding deficit thinkers:
“… deficient thinkers start owning up to the fact they are wrong and we are always right…”
Yup. That pretty much sums it up.
Paotie
Wrong about what?
That they’re wrong about us being right when we say they’re right and we’re wrong because they don’t know what sarcasm is or isn’t, so they don’t really know that we are right because they still think they are wrong even though they pretend we are wrong and they are right.
Right?
Paotie
Tongue twisting with rights and wrongs in a way, befuddling my mind, ha ha.
;o)
Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed
Shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn’t sleep in a shack;
Sheep should sleep in a shed.
Paotie
LOL.
The reason why they covered their clothes to make themselves to look right. (They were right.)
Now, We wore our nice thongs and walk through the beach…they think we are wrong…..
I now get the picture.
White Ghost
I want to get off this Merry-go-around!
Ella now says hearing people are causing the divide (her latest blog.) I’m befuddled. What’s intersting is in her time,things were probably different. Gosh think what would have happened in this day and age among deaf kids. I know my time, there would have been a ruckus and the teacher would have been embarrassed and the visitor would have been aghasted.
C–
Gawrsh! Me too! I am *SO* befuddled when I recently saw Ella’s latest vlog.
It’s like hearing vs. deaf……divide?
The hearing teacher who signs pointed at Ella and she showed the visitors that Ella was the *ONLY* one who was a very smart little girl. It is only proagranda (spell?)!!!!!!
The visitors can *SEE* that the rest of the classmates are *NOT* too smart?
Question: Did Ella’s teacher tell the visitors that Ella was the ninth grader and was the only one who was in the 11th grade class?
I thought it was a bad choice.
More blame and labels from the Label Factory, eh?
And then Deaf Pundit had to blame people when people didn’t want blaming to be blamed for whatever blame needed to be blamed upon a blamed person who had already not been blamed but quite possibly blamed anyway because there’s so much blame going around like a Deaf STD.
Oh well. Too bad people regress to games that blame.
How lame.
What a shame.
Terrible bane.
That doesn’t wane.
And is driven in wains.
It’s all the same.
What a shame.
Oh well.
Paotie
Hmm….
Like the oft repeated quote slightly adjusted for this situation…
….til Deaf do you apart…..
A little irony in that quote considering what’s been happening lately. People need to lay off on this blame game and witch hunts on both deaf and hearing people. And yet they plead for unity? This isn’t about marriage of ideas here folks. It’s about acceptance and the realities we’re facing here. It’s about providing a choice rather than the ball and chain approach locked into submission. Okay. I’m being facetious here but you get the idea anyway.
hahaha! You sound like Dr. Seuss Paotie.
I feel saaaaaaaaaaad Ella didn’t caption her vlog for me.
I guess she doesn’t care if the late-deaf ASL idiots like me don’t understand. Sometimes she transcribes better than other times. This time she didn’t.
Just woke up and saw the comments so checked the vlog…
Sigh. Each to his/her own opinion.
Paotie, you are our Dr. Deaf Seuss ;o)
Oh you, Dr. Deaf Seuss! Purrrrr-fect!
Now, I think C is the Thing 1 and Mike Mc C. is the Thing 2.
White Ghost